A collection of things I’ve made the mistake of writing
by DeadSausage
Summary: This is a collection of semi-short stories and fan fictions, anything can make it in here. This isn’t finished at all, I plan on making more short stories (they don’t have to be fan fiction to make it in here, I’ve just had to write it.
1. The first (step in hell)

Sonic fucks the color yellow

Sonic was in a bar and was staring at the color yellow. The color yellow was also staring at sonic and wanted some dick. The color yellow walked up to sonic and asked to do a fuck. The color yellow waited as sonic pulled his pants off. They, being the color yellow and sonic, fucked in the bar. The bartender let sonic and the color yellow orgasm before shooting them with the bar shotgun. The shotgun blast killed both sonic and the color yellow leaving their guts and brains to paint the walls.


	2. The second

Sonic fucks the letter A

It was a snowy day in the middle of Silent Hill, there was a piano melody playing and not a soul around. Sonic walked the streets, searching for something, but he knew he would never find it. A knife he grasped in his cold hands, it was once his father's. He walked all over the desolate and destroyed town searching, but for no avail. Just then out of the thick fog he heard a wine, a cry for help or out of pain? He would soon find out this lost soul's fate. He paused for a moment before running straight into the fog, all thoughts of threats seemed to pass him by. As soon as he was about five feet away from the person, or monster, he called out to it. Suddenly the faint wine stopped and Sonic could hear foot steps. "Are, are you ok?" Sonic asked. "AAAAAAAAA" the letter A said. "What in the goddamn" sonic seemed to pause before ending while entering into a state of confusion. A human-sized letter A stood right before him, seeming to stare right at him. The member of the alphabet was also naked, it's hexagonal vagina and square-shaped boobs seemed to jump out and grope Sonic by themselves. "Wanna fuck?" Asked Sonic. "AAAAAAAAAA" ecstatically said the letter. Sonic speed dashed straight into the A-hole, placing his Sonic cock in it, stroking in and out in a rhythmic fashion similar to green hill theme. "AAAAAAAAA!" Screamer the letter A out loud, alerting the presents of a certain pyramid-headed monster. "I bet you like that you alphabetic slut" sonic said as he was about to cum. The silent streets of the silent town of Silent Hill weren't so silent anymore. Sonic finally came, the cum went straight through the A hole and hit the asphalt they just fucked on. "AAAAAAAAA" screamed the male A in horror. "You said it, I don't know why it was red" sonic said not knowing that a penis-shaped sword was about to be swung straight through him. The letter A. Tried to get up but it got stabbed by the mannequin fucker. "what the fuck was that noise?" Sonic asked. "Your demise" said Jame's regret and depression. "AAAAAAH!" Sonic said quickly thinking to add an H to the end so he doesn't get copy writted. Pyramid head then used the cock-knife to kill himself, because a main character obviously cannot die. Sonic then put on his blue pants to cover his hedgehog cock and ran for the loud hills.


	3. The third

Winner winner

I am an old old man, I fuck chicken dinner. Late at night when the sun don't shine I was eating a dinner of chicken. The chicken was a good dinner. I became aroused by the idea of the chicken fuck. I tore off my pants and shoved chicken into my bright balls and thrust. Chicken, CHICKen I screamed as the chicken was getting fucked. I decided to step it up a notch and brought out a glass of milk to which I used as a lubrication. I lubricationed the chicken and the cock, put them close to each other and make the chicken fuck. It was a good time indeed, the chicken fuck had happened. I went back to eating the chicken, but this time I ate the chicken not fucked the chicken. I went to sleep that night dreaming of the chicken, it was a good day.


	4. The fourth

Glop Trop

Glop Trop slowly stuck his dick out like a lollipop and make Ms. Glop Trop open her throat for the enormous cock sandwich that was about to be pushed in her mouth like a mother forcing her child to eat broccoli. "I'm gonna glop!" Glop trop said as he looked into Ms. Glop Trop's eyes as she began to cry. "What's the matter Ms. Glop Trop I know you love my big glop cock." "My glop hole is shrinking and you must force your cock inside it more for the glop hole not to shrink like it's doing right now." Glop Trop shoved his cock deep into Ms. Glop Trop with a force the great Glop himself was powerless against. "The hole that is my glop hole is beginning to take a shape of your cock" the Ms. Glop Trop said as she began shitposting porn on fan fiction dot net. Glop Trop set his steaming cock aside Ms. Glop Trop's glop hole. "That was a rush if I have ever felt a rush before." Ms. Glop Trop said while collecting Glop Trop's baby liquid out of her glop hole. The two then switched positions as glop trop pressed down on his own cock and made a nice cock sized hole out of it. Ms. Glop Trop did the same but also the complete opposite. Ms. Glop Trop was now a Glop Trop and Glop Trop was now a Ms. Glop Trop. The new Glop Trop now got its wet and moister inducing cock out and targeted the glop hole of ms. Glop Trop. The thrusting was immense and powerful because the new Glop Trop always was better at this part than the last part of taking the cock. "Wow your cock is so good in my glop hole" said the new Ms. Glop Trop. After the fucking session that occurred between the two Glop Trop's they threw their used cocks and glop holes in the used pile and turned on birdemic and waited until the fuck clock rung again.


	5. The fifth

Sniper ghost warrior review

Sniper, ghost, and warrior, all three of those words means something else. Sniper ghost warrior is a title of a certain game of which I fucking hate. Why do I hate this so much? Is it the oversaturated green and semen filled vegetation, maybe the terrible assault rifle missions, or the story so deep it could put The Room to shame, or it's all of these and them some. Let's first talk about the graphics, the first thing you're gonna notice is green, there is green everywhere, the ground is only green, the protagonist is also green, the tumor I got from playing this game is also green. I do understand why they made green such a focus, this game takes place in Isla Trueno, also known as island of thunder. So it does make sense why the main protagonist is coated in the National animal's pubic hairs. Does the games engine do a good job of making everything pleasing to the eye? Not, one, bit. Everything in this game is hard to look at, I had to turn the gamma so much down that it made the sun look like the moon. Plus the entire time I played the game the startup menu was upside down, at first I was willing to look past this, even though there's a black and white cutscene that plays at the opening of the game, but then I beat the game and the credits were upside down! Developers, why couldn't you fix this before calling it a fucking day. The next thing, the gameplay, the gameplay is actually one reason why I like this game, but making a positive review funny is more forced than the victims of bill Cosby, so in turn I'm going to bash all of its flaws, numerous as they are. There are three main components in the game that also make up the title. The first one is sniping, the sniping, as unrealistic as it is, is not really that bad, the only complaint I have about it is that my bullets have a higher chance of catching AIDS than connecting with the targets. The next is stealth, or ghost. The stealth words just like the resident evil stealth system, except you can crouch. You can take out an enemy right next to another guy and not be spotted, but I've had experiences where I fire a gun in an empty camp and people actually spawn just to take me out. The warrior, ing, this is by far the most stressful thing about this game. Sometimes in the game you're transported somewhere with an AR, a pistol that fires like a retarded shotgun, and some grenades. The AR you're given has enough recoil on it to create an earthquake, which would kill the people you're firing at faster than your bullets. The pistol you're given doesn't change at all in the game, ever, except somehow its worst here, the range sucks and the damage is awful. The grenades, I realize the struggle to implement grenades in a game, you can't make them too powerful otherwise the people playing your game will do nothing but toss grenades, so what did they do here? They made them fucking OP so people don't have to use the shitty weapons they give you. Now time for the story, the story is average at best and terrible at best too. What I could gather from the game itself is that your name is Tyler, you have to take out some politicians. I'm not going to write a ten page report on what I think of the actual plot so I'm just gonna sum up the entire Fan Wikipedia of the game by saying that it's very average. Overall it's a very shitty game, unbalanced fire fights, a story that can only be deciphered by fans of it, and oversaturated green. Now time for some other things to say about the game. The price. On steam this game is eight dollars, not the most expensive thing on steam but I can say without a doubt that this price is too high, unless you buy the game in some kind of bundle with two and art of war, it's sequels. I also forgot to mention, this game has my favorite mechanic in any other game, bullet time, except this game fucked it up, bullet time should be a separate meter like stamina, instead your guy just holds its breath, you can't even kill yourself if you hold your breath. I do like how the game is short, that probably has something to do with me wanting my death to be fast. Overall I would rate the game a 7/10, if you think this contradicts everything I've said before then you're right, the real reason I actually love this game is because, well it's similar to birdemic, terribly bad, filled with original yet shitty ideas, and an absolute insulting execution.


	6. The sixth

Sonic attempts to fuck the letter H

Sonic was in his house and decided to leave to fuck the letter H. "Hey Sonic where are you going?" Asked Tails as Sonic was putting his dick on. "I'm gonna go fuck the letter H! You?" Said Sonic with his trademarked smile. "I'm gonna go masturbate to my vagina!" Said the female Tails. As sonic was walking down the street another familiar face got in his way. "Hey sonic how's it going?" Asked knuckles. "Pretty well I'd say, I'm gonna go fuck the letter H!" Said sonic ecstatically. "Sounds cool bro, I'm gonna go have a threesome!" Knuckles said preparing to break the door down of a lovely old couple's house. Sonic walked further and further until he came across Amy. "Hey sonic what are you going to do?" Asked Schumer while eating a chili dog with semen on it instead of chili. "I'm gonna go fuck the letter H." Said Sonic in a not-so-friendly manner. "Sounds good, Hey is that knuckles over there punching my parent's front door down?" Asked the whale. "Nope!" Sonic said so Amy doesn't call the police on his friend. Sonic walked further and further until he was only one hundred blocks away from the letter H's house. "Hey sonic, wh-" Shadow head was blown off by a near point blank shot by a man who had just robbed a 99 cents store. "HOLY SHIT SHADOWS!" Sonic screamed seeing his friend lay dead with his brains on the floor. The culprit was none other than Eggman. "YOU BASTARD, SHADOWS WAS MY FRIEND" Sonic said loudly but not exclamation mark loudly as he ran after the mother fucker. Sonic chased him and he chased him but to no avail, Eggman was far too powerful. Sonic lost a friend that day and never got him back, Tails witnessed a brutal double rape that day through a window and Amy Schumer kept existing for some reason. Eggman got away with his crime and the letter H committed suicide the next day because of lack of Sonic cocknic, Robotnic cocknic.


	7. The seventh

Sonic hates school plays, so he usually goes in the bathroom and nuts until it turns red. This time the bathroom trip was different. "Man that play suuuure is boring, good think I asked to go play with myself during the stupid play that is boring". As sonic took a step in the cock drawn walls and shit coated ceiling stalls he could hear someone, sonic knew he was masturbating. As soon as he made nut he screamed like that one episode of American Dad where Stan starts masturbating. Sonic kicked down the door because he likes to be alone while he cuts the head off of the chicken and lets it run around. It was none other than Dave the Intern from Sonic Boom! He was stroking it like the day after tomorrow. "Dave? Why are you here I thought this was supposed to be a harem?" "F-F-F-Finally S-S-S-Sonic I caught y-you! A-After twenty one years I f-finally have you." Dave said with his cock still on his hand. "Fuck oFF Dave" Sonic said with all F's capital and shut the door on Dave's hard knob. Now sonic was here to do what he came here to do. Sonic went for the retarded stall because that's where he feels most at home, only to find that it was occupied. Sonic decided to barge in because it worked so well the last time. The shitting bandito was the letter one, all primed and ready for a fucking. "Looks like this chilly dog is about to get it awn" sonic told his slim Dinger. Sonic assumed the position and the number slid up inside of his hole, he didn't need a condom because all number ones in this universe are sterile, and the female number ones are barren, some joke idk. After the number one firmly fit inside him he activated his drill power, twisting at the speed of light akin to that one scene from jackass 2 where the guy gets a golden dildo shot up his asshole at high speeds. Sonic wasn't ready for this type of pressure and strength, he has to place both his feet on the ground to make sure he was stable. Sonic needed to scratch his feet so he brought his feet to his hand and then al of a sudden the cock consumed his mobility, he lost all balance and went spinning around. "I need to get off of this amusement ride!" Sonic screamed but because of the drill being so loud no one heard it. Dave must have been very horrified and couldn't move, he would have gotten the teacher but there were none. The letter one finally stopped fucking sonic and made him fly off, his asshole was stretched beyond repair, but hedgehogs can just grow a new asshole. He thanked the number one for a fuckering to remember and left on his merry way.


End file.
